Cyril George Carstensen Lutterodt, popularly known as Counselor Lutterodt, has admonished all married men to have secrets in their marriages.
According to the controversial Ghanaian marriage counsellor, if a husband fails to harbour some sort of secrets in his marriage, it makes him a foolish man.
Lutterodt has spoken about various issues in the country and has received backlash for some of his comments but that will not stop him as he says even more.
Appearing on TV3 New Day on Friday, he said: “If you are a husband and you don’t have a secret in your marriage, you are foolish”.
According to Lutterodt, being honest with your spouse does not necessarily mean you must share every single thought, dream, fear, or fantasy with this person. In face, honesty may be a double-edged sword in your marriage. Knowing what to share and what not to share is an important communication skill for couples to learn and use in their marriage. It may also be something that can help or hinder peace and harmony with your spouse.
He indicated, everyone has the right to privacy in any relationship, including in marriage, family, or group; as in any relationship, there are rights to keep a part of one’s life secret, no matter how trivial or how important, for the sole reason that he/she wants to do so.
He believes there are valid reasons for keeping a secret from your spouse. To him, under no circumstances should one reveal an embarrassing or hurtful moments from his past, since he feels it might be that the secret involves someone else who asked that the story not be told. He said there are many couples who have been married for a long time who have personal secrets that they haven’t shared with their spouses, a situation he says is the sense of space and privacy of oneself.
He advised that if you have a secret that you think you should share, but you are unsure about doing so, look at your own physical responses when you are hiding the secret. If your blood pressure increases, or you find yourself blinking a lot faster, or your breathing is heavier, or you are perspiring more, then these could be clues that you should share that particular secret.